What is the (Swingers') Lifestyle?
A Space for Expression
I like to think about the lifestyle as a spectrum. On one end, it’s a vibe: freedom to express your sensuality, being in a space where sexuality and attraction between humans is not taboo, enjoying seeing yourself and your partner through lenses that extend beyond your own point of view, feeling alive, feeling free. It doesn’t have to involve anything physical with others.
On the other side of the spectrum is a full gamete of sexual escapades you can partake in with other people, without restriction. The lifestyle is a space where people can come together to enjoy company, drinks, dancing, friendship in a non-judgmental place. This is where if you enjoy the company of another human being, you have the PRIVILEGE of asking for consent to take it to the physical level, without being frowned upon, seen as a pervert, a floozie or a womanizer. You have the PRIVILEGE of asking for consent to kiss, touch the skin of, caress, hug, sit on the lap of another person, and to show that person AFFECTION, without making a commitment to that person, or breaking your own commitment to your partner. It's a world where touch, physical sensations, and sexuality with another person does not have to stem from true love, it can stem from casual affection, and stand on its own merit as a joy of being alive.
Matriarchal rather than Patriarchal
The "Vanilla" world, as we call it, is patriarchal. Even though we have laws and official equality in place, it's still governed by patriarchal ideations. It's hard to see this, until you enter the "Lifestyle," where everything is determined by what women want, when they want it, how they want to go about it, who they want to go about it with, etc etc. Once you enter a lifestyle facility, you quickly begin to realize that manhood is expressed here in words, gestures, sensuality, respect and safety, rather than physical superiority. That is why Lifestyle environments feel very safe. Even though women are walking around, half or fully nude, or dressed like porn stars, here they are safe and free to express their sensuality. They can do so on the dancefloor, in conversation, in any way, shape or form, without being groped, cornered, touched without consent, or being called "cheap," "easy," "gold digger," "homewrecker," "bad mom," or other derogatory terms they would be called, should they attempt to slightly express themselves as such in the "Vanilla" world. Women in the lifestyle are revered as goddesses, whom can do whatever they desire, as long as it's consensual, with each other or with men. Women in the lifestyle learn to listen to their own desires, and not the ones that society has flung at them. It is truly a liberating experience, for any woman, and it is a very beautiful awakening for men to view the women they adore, as such.
